Here’s a list of my fears: Oblivion, Meaninglessness, Death, Ignorance, Incompleteness, Discontinuity, Space and time.
Why do I fear these things?
Although I came from nothingness, I don’t want to vanish into nothingness. This society imposes on me the need to feel validated, to feel important, to have a sense of having something permanent. This self identity that the society imposes on me demands to keep propagating. I want immortality through my work, my family, the impact I had on this world. I want to be remembered. But even the greatest works will disappear and the Universe will collapse back to singularity and time will end. So if there is nothing that will last why should I care so much. Why can’t I accept meaninglessness, death and discontinuity? Because I have been programmed to do so. I have been programmed to achieve something, gain something. My genes tell me that I need to survive. My thoughts tell me that I need to feel important.
Overcoming fears
Wen I realized that what I really fear is peace. What I really fear is unconditioning and freedom from all these notions. What I really fear is realizing that I am not this identity that the society has imposed on me, I am not this body nor am I this mind. All these keep changing but beyond that I stay the same. The same awareness that I was as a kid when I didn’t have notions of happiness, sadness, that I needed to achieve something. I am that in deep sleep, dreams and in my waking state. I am not this world nor am I this space not am I time. I am the nothingness that I came from. I am complete because nothing exists except me. I am like the tree that grows in silence, the flower that blossoms effortlessly. There is nothing to be done, nothing to be achieved, because I was and always will be nothingness beyond time, beyond space. Here there is freedom from all fears.